I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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