i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
