I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
