He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
