Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
