Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk is not a location!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize