I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
