Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
