we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
