she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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