Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
farters have to be the big spoon...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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