My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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