im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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