that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize