And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
