Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
