The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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