her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Enjoy the penises
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
