Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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