considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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