Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
