why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
