we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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