Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
