we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Maybe he injected his testicle?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
