don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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