My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
