pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize