the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
