She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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