I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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