my sisters under your porch take her home
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
