how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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