she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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