so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize