the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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