I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
