Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
