On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
