You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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