the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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