you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
