That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
