we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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