pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
