Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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