Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
