DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
