champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
