You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We got so high we made milksteak
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
