I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
