yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
