If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
