Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
