Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
