One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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