As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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