i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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