Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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