I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
