I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
