nut hugger
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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