Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
