you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
