She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
