I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
