it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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