I wannas sexs uuuuu
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
