Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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